Surprising Ways Sex Is Different For Men And Women

Men and women are, for the most part, different in a number of ways. For instance, research has found that women usually wear their hearts on their sleeves, while men tuck theirs away. And while women usually fight, men flight. But the differences between men and women go beyond behavioral or emotional — in fact, they creep into the bedroom. Yes, we’re talking about sex. Over the years, research has found that sexuality is different for men and women in a slew of ways. Curious? Read on below.


Multiple orgasms. Though it’s not impossible for men to experience multiple orgasms, women are simply better at it. Sorry, boys, but it’s true: If a gal can have one orgasm, she can definitely have multiple. Womanhood is a beautiful, beautiful thing, isn’t it?


Multiple orgasms. Alternatively, men usually need to chill out after climax — this is known as the refractory period. In short, the refractory period is the recovery phase after orgasm during which it is physiologically impossible for a guy to have additional orgasms. As Cosmopolitan points out, however, there are some men who are able to experience multiple orgasms in which they ejaculate.


Multiple orgasms. Strategies for achieving multiple male orgasms are pretty endless. For instance, tantric sex practices offer tips to men on how to achieve lots and lots of Os. But as Cosmopolitan points out, there’s still very little research on multiple male orgasms, which is surprising as the worldwide “little blue pill” market is worth a whopping $5 billion.


Fake orgasms. It’s no secret that women fake orgasms. In fact, a 2010 study from the University of Central Lancashire found that 80 percent of women fake climaxing during vaginal intercourse at least half of the time. A smaller group in in the study was even more prolific with their moaning and groaning, with 25 percent of the women faking it 90 percent of the time. Uh, ouch. But as it turns out, women aren’t the only ones faking their Os.


Fake orgasms. Indeed, men fake orgasms too, though they generally do it less often than women. As Cosmopolitan points out, a 2010 study of 180 male and 101 female undergraduates showed that of students who had vaginal intercourse, 28 percent of the guys and 67 percent of ladies had faked it before. Meanwhile, a more recent survey of 230 men, aged 18 to 29, found that 30.6 percent of its survey participants admitted to faking climax.


Fake orgasms. So, why are both women and men faking orgasms? A study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that the most common reason men faked their Os was to boost their partners’ egos. (Aw… We guess.) And women? Well, ladies are more likely to fake the big finish in order to end “bad” sex, one study found. Terrible.


Oral sex. Carol Queen, staff sexologist and researcher at sex toy shop Good Vibrations, told Cosmopolitan that nearly 70 percent of women rarely — or never — climax through vaginal intercourse. (We could have told you that.) Now, compare that with the 74 percent of men who orgasm every single time. Sigh. Fortunately, those numbers change when we look at other kinds of sex.


Oral sex. A 2009 study of 1,931 U.S. adults found that 90 percent of men reported orgasming in their most recent sexual experiences, while only 64 percent of women did. But here’s the thing: That figure jumps to 81 percent of women if the sexual encounters included oral sex. In other words, oral sex significantly closes the orgasm gap.


Oral sex. While oral sex might be narrowing the orgasm gap, it’s still not good enough. As Cosmo notes, research suggests that women — straight, lesbian or bisexual — are generally having fewer orgasms than men. Though it should be noted that women who have sex with women have way more orgasms than women who have sex with men. (Probably because they’re spending more time on the things that get them off — i.e. oral sex.)


Sexual length. When it comes to vaginal intercourse, women take much longer than men to climax, Cosmopolitan notes. But, it takes ladies around the same amount of time to orgasm through masturbation as it takes guys to orgasm through intercourse. In other words, women can get themselves off faster, while men get off just the same.


Sexual length. Overall, there’s no set time for how many minutes of penetration it takes a woman to climax — every gal’s unique. Nonetheless, 20 minutes is a commonly cited average length, according to Cosmopolitan. All we have to say about that figure is: Find a guy who can last 20 minutes in bed with a woman without coming, and we’ll show you a guy who probably isn’t into women. But we digress.


Sexual length. Unlike women, men can generally climax within five minutes of starting the deed. And according to research by Alfred Charles Kinsey, as Cosmo notes, this is about the same amount of time women need to orgasm when they’re playing with themselves. But let’s be clear here: There’s no “normal” amount of time. Everyone is different. So if you take a little longer or shorter, don’t freak out.


Arousal. Women have the inherent ability to get turned on by sexual scenarios with individuals of all genders, though that doesn’t mean their sexual orientation isn’t whatever they say they identify as, according to Cosmo. In fact, research shows that straight and gay women have similar physiological responses to erotic videos of female-female, female-male and male-male intercourse — regardless of the gender they hook up with.


Arousal. Conversely, men’s arousal is more closely aligned with their sexual orientation. Via Cosmopolitan: “A 2015 study from the University of Essex reiterated that straight women in particular get turned on by videos of both attractive men and attractive women, while straight men and gay women are more likely to be aroused only by the gender to which they say they’re attracted.” Interesting.


Arousal. So, what’s going on? Apparently, it’s not the gender of the people in the videos that are turning women on, but the sensuality of the scenario. For example, some research suggests that viewing naked guys in neutral poses just doesn’t cut it for most straight women. Straight ladies, then, need a little bit more than just a penis to get their juices flowing — they need some expression, as well something something fulfilling to the senses.


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