Being engaged is always an awesome experience. This is the time when you feel that you are at the top of the world. But like all other relationships in the earth, it is not unlikely that you might encounter a pre-wedding fight during this time. It this article we will look at the top ten causes of pre-wedding fights and how to avoid them.
Pre-wedding fights – Causes and how to avoid them
1. Make a wedding budget
It is not quite surprising that money is number one when it comes to causes of pre-wedding fights. The difference of opinion regarding how to spend your wedding budget often sparks to pre-wedding fights. The way your fiancé spends your dollars might not make sense to you. For example, you may want to keep aside a bulk amount from your budget for an extravagant honeymoon, while you are planning an epic reception and want to put a significant amount for the big day.
If you try to avoid issues like this, compromise is the best solution. Try to understand why your partner thinks that the way she feels is important. Try to look at the thing from her perspective. Both of you should be able to detect what is driving the desire to choose one over another.
2. Your partner is not as enthusiastic as you are
You are spending most of your time in planning the big day, but your partner seems to be indifferent? He might not show any interest in the wedding-related discussion. It might appear to you that he does care enough or care at all about the biggest event of your life, which is quite disappointing for you. Thus the lack of enthusiasm often leads to pre-wedding fights between couples.
3. I am doing all the plan
It often happens that you are doing to all the pre-wedding arrangements and your partner is busy with her wedding dress. The lack of participation in a wedding arrangement can become an issue when it creates some misunderstanding between the couples. It might get disappointed to see her indifference while you are expecting her to contribute to preparing for the big day.
To avoid this problem, it is favorable that you discuss your ideas with her and ask for her suggestion and let her say how she can help you. Not doing this might lead her to think that you are not paying any heed to her choices.
4. I don’t agree with the quest list
The guest list for your wedding can also be an issue. You may want to be surrounded by all of your family and friends on this big day. But your fiancé is thinking about the effects of your guest list on his budget and venue choice. It may be that he just doesn’t like the program to be as crowded as a public event and wants only close friends and family on the day.
If issues like this cause pre-wedding fights, the best solution is to make your partner understand that you are inviting the people whose presence does matter to you and how they will support you going forward in the coming days as a couple.
5. What about my Family?
Most couples drag themselves into a pre-wedding fight on issues regarding family. One may think that his fiancé is giving more priority to his family’s decision over her choice. Or your partner may not feel comfortable with how you deal with his family before the wedding and feel you don’t care about his family tradition.
In cases like this, both should come to a point that it’s not about your family or her family, it’s all about the new family where you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with all the other people around you.
6. He is too possessive
When your partner becomes over possessive about you that it is for sure going to be a cause of the pre-wedding fight. Questions like, “where were you all day?” “Why didn’t you pick my call” “why don’t you reply my email or text?” or comments like “I don’t want you to wear the bareback gown anymore”, or “I don’t want your ex-boyfriend to be in our wedding” are signs that your partner is being over possessive.
The key to avoiding disagreement in this issue is to negotiate and to respect each other as a human being. You can overcome this problem when you realize that your spouse is your partner, not your property.
7. We don’t spend time together
If you have not spent much time together since you are engaged, it can cause a pre-wedding fight too. Your partner might think that you do not enjoy spending time together. If you have had no outing or dine out recently or forget to present her a nice gift on her birthday, it may create distance between you.
Spending more time together is the best solution. Besides trying to understand that not taking you to a candlelight dinner does not necessarily imply that he is not romantic or doesn’t care about, maybe he is planning something grand!
8. This is my tradition
Differences often emerge between couples regarding traditions, values, customs or religion. Especially if you don’t belong to the same ethnic or social background that you do, these issues may become crucial. There may be cases when you feel that your partner is not making an effort to understand your tradition.
If handled calmly and sensitively, you can overcome this issue by letting your partner know what you expect from him and why your tradition matters to you.
9. That old friend
An old friend in a new relationship may be a problem sometimes. If your partner is maintaining a good relationship with his or her ex, you guys are most likely to encounter a pre-wedding fight.
Solution? Discuss, negotiate and compromise. And most importantly trust and be trustworthy!
10. I want to live here
The territory is often a major issue at the wedding which may cause disagreement between couples. Your partner thinks that you should be staying in South Carolina after marriage while you want to be in New Jersey because your family lives there.
This is indeed an issue! Identify your priority as a couple, your job, and your family comfort and decide together.
Pre-wedding fights are unexpected but not unavoidable. It is quite understandable that you will not agree about everything, but you should agree to disagree. Remember, conflict is inevitable but fighting is a choice!