Sometimes, a person right in front of you may be in love with you, but you don’t realize it. Perhaps your friends who hang out a lot and you even tell others that nothing’s going on — you’re “just friends.” However, little do you know that the person is harboring secret feelings for you.
Or maybe you are dating, but get mixed signals from them — though they’re not saying “I love you,” they are showing you through their subtle actions. Yes, they rescued you when you got stranded in the middle of the freeway when you ran out of gas, but isn’t that what friends do?
“While there is no guaranteed way to know if a person is truly in love with you, there are a few signs someone can show to reveal how they really feel,” Dr. Flores.
It appears that love not only makes us feel elated and have butterflies in our stomachs, but it generally has a great influence on our entire bodies whether it be by blushing and sweating excessively or by going through hormonal and psychological changes. These symptoms can sometimes be so obvious that you can easily know when a person is in love with you even if they pretend to be indifferent.
This is some features and “symptoms” that help you realize when you’re falling in love and understand how another person actually feels about you.
Things That Reveal Someone Is in Love with You
- Sometimes, it’s tough to tell if someone is in love with you.
- However, some relationship experts believe that there are ways to tell if someone has stronger feelings than you may realize.
- With a bit of detective work, you can look for behaviors that indicate that a person secretly loves you.
They have fun with you even if the task at hand is not fun
The saying, “It’s not what you do, but who you’re with” is popular for a reason — because it’s true. Pay attention to the person who’s always there for you, even when the task at hand is not outwardly a fun one, like helping you move. “A sign someone may be in love with you includes their ability to have fun with you even during mundane tasks,” Dr. Flores said. “If they are happy to see you, no matter what the two of you are doing, it may be love.”
Kailen Rosenberg, elite matchmaker and founder of The Lodge Social Club, a dating application with a three-step vetting process that launched earlier this month, agrees. “The person will often go the ‘extra mile’ to help you with something — a project, a need, an errand, etc.,” she told Business Insider. “Bottom line, they want to be near you, thought of by you, and assist you.”
They look at you … a lot
The next time you’re with the person in question, note how often they look at you. Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin found a correlation between eye contact and love. In his study, couples deeply in love look at one another 75% of the time while talking, while people engaged in conversation only look at each other about 30-60% of the time.
“When someone is in love with you, they will stare at your eyes more directly and for a longer period of time; they want to be completely present with you,” Dr. Flores said. “This is why it’s so important to interact with a love interest in person versus just through digital connection — we need to connect emotionally through eye contact.”
They pay more attention to you
Everyone is busy, right? But people also make time for things — and others — that are important to them. “Someone may be in love when they begin to focus a lot of their attention on you, especially in one-on-one settings,” Dr. Flores said. Rosenberg agrees. “They’re just like the boy on the playground who used to pull your hair or tease you when you were a kid,” she said.
They show empathy — in good times and bad
When someone is not only sympathetic when something happens to you, but also empathetic, it may be another sign that they are in love with you. In other words, your happiness is their happiness, and your pain is their pain.
“Someone in love will care about your feelings and your well-being,” Dr. Flores said. “If he or she is able to show empathy or is upset when you are, not only do they have your back, but they also probably have strong feelings for you.”
They remember the little things
When it comes to reading signs to see if someone loves you, pay attention to the little things — because they’ll do them. You two may go to the movies and they’ll mix your popcorn with Raisinettes because you once mentioned you liked that salty and sweet combination.
“Someone in love will remember your birthday, your favorite color, and favorite meal, so the little things they remember and do for you are also meaningful,” Dr. Flores said.
They introduce you to the important people in their lives
The more people they introduce you to, especially those important to them, such as their family and best friends, the more likely it is they want to be closer to you emotionally.
“They’ll also go out of their way to connect you with their own friends and connections to help make your life or work easier,” Rosenberg said.
They often mention the future
How does the person act when it comes to talking about the future? Do they talk in more “we” language or “me” language? After all, you don’t talk about upcoming and faraway events with just anybody, unless you definitely want them in your life and by your side.
“Notice how the person behaves around you,” Dr. Flores said. “If they suddenly start speaking about a possible future with you, it’s a sign that they are falling in love or are already in love with you.”
It’s already known that a group of certain hormones is responsible for strong feelings. The release of these hormones makes people experience romantic feelings and passion that they can’t control very well. But men’s signs of falling in love are different from women’s.
At first, their emotional and sexual preferences match: men become more romantic, tender, and attentive because of oxytocin, while women experience a burst of energy and a high sex drive because of testosterone. But unfortunately, when the level of hormones returns to its normal state, women feel a lack of attention and men miss the number of intimate moments.
The changes in our bodies don’t stop when the period of passionate love ends. For example, our voice still changes. According to one study, when a woman speaks to her beloved, her voice unconsciously gets softer and higher. On the other hand, other research revealed that women can manipulate their voice pitch making it lower with more vibrations to be more attractive.
But the thing is, men unconsciously prefer women whose voice pitch is high and “womanly”. It’s all about our instincts: such a voice indicates that a woman is caring and reliable, and is ready for a long-term relationship. A lower voice attracts men only physically as it’s mostly about sexual interest.
A guy or girl of your dreams comes into your life, smiles at you, and passes by. It may not seem like something special but your cheeks are already red and you can’t do anything about it.
Modern psychologists found out that blushing is actually useful and can make you more likable. According to one theory, it’s a natural reaction to the fear of being “found out”. Psychologist Ray Crozier has interviewed many people about situations that cause them to turn red, and he found that it most typically involves the potential exposure of something private, not connected to embarrassing situations. The blushing may be a physiological reaction to the shock that your secret could become public. But how can this cause an attraction to another person? It’s easy: in such cases, your reddened face shows that you want to avoid excessive attention, giving the impression of a shy and less narcissistic person. And if we consider the fact that blushing is uncontrollable, we may say that it’s one of the most reliable features of honesty.
Eyes play a really important role at the beginning of a relationship, and the eyes’ changes and movements are the most reliable signals when it comes to understanding our mood while spending time with our beloved.
Scientists have already proven that pupil dilation depends not only on light but on our emotional state as well. That’s why loving people look into each others’ eyes: they’re unconsciously trying to see if this can be seen in the person they’re in love with.
Experience Lots of Emotions and Great Stress
Confusion, nervousness, mood swings, loss of appetite, and fatigue are also on the list of symptomsthat are caused by falling in love. Our bodies let us know that we’re plunging into really strong feelings.
Cortisol, a stress hormone, can be one of the reasons for our suffering because when a person is falling in love, they experience lots of emotions and great stress. For example, blood vessels in our stomach constrict and we feel nausea. As a rule, all unpleasant symptoms go away when our relationship becomes more stable and there’s no more uncertainty. But sometimes these feelings can come back like during a wedding or if something goes wrong in a relationship.