The best way to attract someone, is to live an attractive life.
Consider for a moment the differences in process between hunting and fishing. I don’t participate in either, but I think we all understand that one requires a more proactive approach, while the other is better suited to those who have the right ‘bait’ they can cast into an area and see which fish they can get to bite.
I feel that dating, for men, has transitioned much from hunting to fishing.
Women are tired of being hit on all the time, they’re tired of being approached when they clearly don’t want to be, and they’re tired of guys who can’t properly read the social signals they’re sending out to leave them alone.
So, as born ‘hunters,’ where does that leave the single men of the world?
My opinion is—it leaves us learning how to fish.
If you’ve not put some serious consideration into how you’re presenting yourself on a regular basis—both online and offline—it’s time to take a step back and put these things into place. Note: These are independent of dating, and will also serve to help create a more fulfilling life for you, regardless of your relationship status. The best way to attract someone, is to live an attractive life.
The Basic Pillars of Being an Attractive Man
You’ve got established goals and dreams.
The first step to building a fulfilling life is understanding what’s going to make you fulfilled. A great way to do this is to pay close attention to where your mind wanders in your spare time. Are you always thinking about cars? Fashion? Video games? Art? Whatever it is—use this as a beacon to explore ways to make a living in that realm.
How does it relate to dating? Simple—a woman cannot picture a future with someone who hasn’t yet pictured a future for himself.
You’ve worked to become a strong communicator.
Gone are the days of fluff and small talk. People either do not want to talk about anything at all, or they want to talk about something that actually matters in the world. The old quote ‘It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” comes to mind. Understanding the nuances of communication—both verbal and non-verbal—is paramount to being able to effectively express your thoughts and feelings while accurately interpreting those of others.
How does it relate to dating? I’m sure I don’t need to explain that one further.
You’ve got a great sense of humor.
After long days at a demanding job, coming home to someone who is unable to help you unwind and lighten the mood will just extend the feelings of monotony and trudging through life.
You are not possessive or jealous.
Possessive overbearing men are kryptonite to strong women. Smothering or coming on too strong to this type of woman is the quickest way to ensure that you push her away immediately. She is busy and doesn’t need (nor want) her hand held constantly. She works best with a man who lives his own life alongside hers, not one that tries to intertwine the two.
You’re still comfortable taking charge in the relationship.
Taking charge in a relationship does not mean taking charge of her. Just because a woman may be in charge from 9-5 Monday through Friday, doesn’t mean she wants the same responsibilities in a relationship. At the end of the day, many women still appreciate a man who is the man,and will make plans for them on date night. A man who still romances her. A man who is chivalrous and respectful. A man who understands that a woman can be independent and should still be treated like a lady.
You’ve developed tact and class.
Two men can say the same exact sentence to a woman, and the one who doesn’t come across as creepy or grimy will be better received every single time.
You’re not a giant man-baby.
A man who constantly needs reassurance or validation from the woman he is dating will likely not find what he needs if he pursues a woman who is strong and independent. She will be secure and confident in herself and want the man she is with to be the same. While she will likely show him love and affection because she cares for him and wants him to feel loved—she will not constantly be reminding him of how much she needs him in her life. Because she doesn’t.
A strong man will not expect to be needed by a woman of this caliber, but it is important to note that men still want to feel wanted, and we all still need love and affection to feel valued in a relationship, so this cannot be overlooked.
You’ve built a varied skillset.
You don’t need to have a ‘very particular set of skills’ like Liam Neeson, but no matter what women say, they want a man who is capable of stepping up and taking care of things when need be.
Even if you stay single forever, learning a variety of skills that will allow you to be self-sufficient in life is going to bring a slew of benefits your way. Becoming more attractive to women because of it is an added bonus.