For her, oral sex could mean the difference between orgasmic bliss and a ho-hum time in the sack. In fact, most women need a variety of stimulation, including oral, in order to orgasm, research from the Kinsey Institute shows.
If you’ve already mastered the basics—taking your time, varying your pressure and speed, and resisting the urge to go straight for her lady parts with a little teasing—then add these five advanced moves to your repertoire.
Who knows? She might be impressed enough to return the favour.
These moves will take you to the next level
1. Make It All Access
Start with her on her hands and knees, and then slide under her like an auto mechanic. You can then spend time warming her up as you have access to everything she wants touched and licked.
“Kisses, breast and nipple stimulation, nibbles down the inner thigh are all part of dining out,” says Shanna Katz, M.Ed., a board-certified sexologist and author of Oral Sex That Will Blow Her Mind. “Wait until your partner is hot and heavy, begging for you to go between her legs, rather than going in too quickly and killing the mood.”
Watch for her to lower her body up and down, or move it side to side, as you ramp up the foreplay. It will only be minutes before she is imploring you to do more.
2. Use Your Surroundings
Nobody around while you’re in the pool? Have her sit on the edge with her legs over your shoulders while you’re in the water. If you don’t happen to have a pool handy, this also works on the edge of a countertop, sturdy table, or washer. (Let the last one run for even more fun.)
No matter where you decide to do it, you’ve got to be all in, says Katz. This position allows you to use your lips, tongue, suction, and hands to their fullest.
Plus, from above she’ll have a full view of you between her legs and can guide you with her body movement as she gets turned on.
3. Ditch the ABCs
Lay down on a bed or other comfortable surface. Have her squat and sit on your face while you provide the oral stimulation. She’s now in a position to focus solely on the pleasure you are providing, so step up your technique by tracing letters with your tongue.
“Instead of running through from A to Z, which can make it hard to choose favourite tongue motions, try a few letters at a time on repeat, or work on spelling a favourite word,” says Katz. “Or use your lips to provide some sexy suction: on her lips, hood, or even clit. It gives your jaw and tongue a break, and can help draw more blood to the area, helping everything to get even more engorged.”
Just remember to take a few seconds every now and then to breathe.
4. Go All Day
While facing each other in bed, scoot down until you are between her legs and can rest your head on her inner thigh. With this position you are comfortable enough to lavish her with the time and attention she really craves.
“While some women might want less time spent between their legs, the vast majority want more,” says Katz. “So if you’re using cunnilingus as foreplay, consider doubling, tripling, or even multiplying your current time by six or seven.”
If you’re using it as the entree of the meal, it means you might be there a while until she’s finished. Finishing doesn’t necessarily mean climaxing—some women cannot orgasm simply from oral stimulation—but it does mean going until she pulls you from the region and demands your attention elsewhere.
5. Add Some Entertainment
Women can be as rapidly aroused by porn as men, a recent study by McGill University found. (The magic number is about 12 minutes to make her aroused.)
So, instead of having only oral play going on, set up your position and location so that she can watch porn she enjoys while you are between her legs. Not only will she be stimulated by your action, watching erotic images will additionally rev her—and your—engines, says Katz. If she’s into it, you can suggest the possibility she reciprocate, giving you something to watch next time she pleasures you.